You rejected your toxic parent. Protected yourself. Set up boundaries. And at first it felt great. The release as you cut them off was palpable. But it's been a while and you don't feel that peace anymore. In fact, it hurts more than it did before you cut them off.
You've listened to all the social media and support pages for help. They seemed right. You've probably been in therapy and maybe taken meds like I did. But somehow it's not enough. It doesn't sit right. You have questions. Why isn't God taking this pain away? What does He want me to do? I want to forgive them and not be a bitter person and can't figure out how? I want to reconnect but still protect my boundaries and freedom. Is that possible with my parents?
How do I break free of this pain?!
I can show you the path.
I've walked it. It's not easy. But it's completely worth it. It took me over 20 years and another 15 trying to forgive. I missed out on so much. But we are all happily reconciled now.
Don't try to figure it out on your own. Save time and pain and let me walk the way forward with you.
The journey of the child who rejected their parent
Like so many, when I was younger, I was informed about the problems in my relationship with my parent. They were experts and I believed them. Therapy didn't actually help. Others knew the situation well and pointed out the problems. I trusted them because I thought they wanted what was best for me.
I went low-contact for over 20 years. I saw all the evidence of my new perspective. It hurt so much. How could they do this to me? Eventually, that's all I looked for in our relationship. I could only see what was so glaringly missing and all that I wanted. I was starved for it.
I had nightmares at least once a week for 20 years. Then I decided to fix our relationship. They had changed a lot. They still had flaws, but they were a new person and so was I. But the open wound had festered all those years I refused to deal with it. In fact it had distorted all of my life. It still took 15 years to find the way to forgive them. And when I did, I can't tell you the incredible joy I felt! There was complete memory of all the problems and absolutely no pain! I felt joy, strength, peace, and began to thrive as I went forward completely healed. I had put myself in bondage by not forgiving them. And I was free!
That was when my freedom came. That was when I was truly liberated! They no longer controlled me. I chose my own path, my own emotions, my own boundaries.
In time, we reconciled and now enjoy a fantastic relationship. Oh how I love them!
Karma
Years later, my own child cut me off. I didn't think I had done anything that was worthy of that. I was a good mother. But I lost them, their spouse, and my three grandchildren in one day. It didn't stop there. I made it more complicated with multiple mistakes, stretching out over months until the final good bye. I did and said all the wrong things. I hurt my child deeply.
Mercy
By God's grace and true miracles, both relationships are fully restored today. Hearts are healed. Mistakes are forgiven. And by His grace, I was healed and thriving before either relationship were restored. I believe anyone can heal from the pain of estrangement whether they reconnect or not, because I found the way through. And I want others to find it as well.
I'm Marit Welker, multi-certified coach, speaker, podcaster, and someone who has experienced this problem myself. I understand both perspectives. I've received extensive training. My education, specialized training specifically for estrangement coaching, has helped me. But God has given me much more. I've seen God's hand in every step of my journey and that's what I want for you. I want you to feel Him as you recover and find your way forward.
I walked through fire to make the changes I needed to make as I recovered from my estrangement and from my child's. It took years longer than it needed to. Time that was wasted that I can never get back. So much suffering!
What I learned changed everything. I made the changes in myself that were needed. I learned what God wanted me to become. That preparation gave me the strength and the direction to find my way forward, which for me meant reconciliation, and taught me to thrive in any circumstance. I want you to feel that safety, that peace, that freedom, and the strength to set and protect your boundaries, as you walk toward letting this pain go. I want you to learn to thrive no matter what.
In fact, I was called by God to bring this message to others. I was called to teach and lift adult kids who are suffering. I help them find their way forward, reduce their pain, learn to live more joyfully, and find their next God-given purpose. I was called to strengthen parents. I help them heal. I teach them how to become better parents. I prepare them to reunite and stop hurting their child if their child opens the door.
I received extensive education from the best sources and have been able to lift others as they struggle to find their way.
I don't teach ideas. I teach what saved me.
I don't teach ideas. I teach what saved me.
I mapped the path for you, so you don't have to wander and make the mistakes I did.
Now, it's your turn!
An individual consultation is where we begin. As we chat, you explain your circumstances and how you're suffering so I can recommend the best way forward. That might even include a referral because I'm always direct and want what's truly best for you. Then, we talk about what happened and why, and I explain what I think is the best way forward for your needs.
If you choose to book the 4-day challenge, I'll meet with you in a series of one on one or small group sessions and I begin to show you the way to find more strength, peace, and contentment. Most of my clients feel noticeably lighter within days. This sets you up to learn how to thrive and if you desire, even prepare you to reunite. Note that it's of paramount importance to protect your boundaries and your freedom to choose.
The only question left is whether you're ready to get started.
You don't have to figure this out alone. God is with you on this journey. And I'd love to walk this path with you, too.
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